Under The Other Stands #2

Issue #2 of the best ever feature on any website ever, Under The Other Stands, is presented to you with gloom and misery, specially sponsored by MacAbre LTD. The U’s are convinced we’ll be involved in a relegation fight right until the end, just for the fireworks of Morecambe (H) and Macclesfield (A) to top the season off. But what else has been going on in the football world?

  • Valiant losers?

For U’s fans, this week will be remembered as the one where the Calderwood honeymoon crashed and burned in a tragically underwhelming pit of unusual line ups, missed open goals and pointless appearances from Reggie Lambe. Spare a thought though for Port Vale fans. John Askey has now been in charge for four games and he has recorded a mightily impressive four straight defeats. No honeymoon period at all at Vale Park, and they’ve now slipped to 21st.

Their latest defeat, a 1-0 loss away to Cheltenham, was the straw that broke the camel’s back and the club are reporting the decision to disallow David Worrall’s goal to MOAS (Match Official Administration System). Whilst it is unclear what Vale hope to gain from this, it is a fantastically entertaining and pointless turn of events. The club have cited this incident as the seventh this season where they’ve had to throw their toys out of the pram, including Pope’s disallowed goal against the U’s. Keep grasping for those straws, Vale.

Our advice to Askey; sign up for a Danny Cowley day session in mouthing off at officials to get what you want.

Miles off, mate.
  • Could this hand a reprieve to another League Two struggler?

Last week we spoke about how the great escape was on in Nottinghamshire. This weekend however has seen us cancel the England Supporters Band upcoming appearance at Meadow Lane. In a valiant attempt to keep Cambridge up by matching our dogshite results, County have fallen to two defeats this week. But things went from bad to worse on Monday with the news that owner Alan Hardy’s Paragon company are heading into administration. Should the same happen to County, then they’d surely be met with a 10 point deduction and a near impossible task to stay up. Hardy has been quick to reassure fans that Paragon’s current state won’t affect the club and, in addition, that there are several interested parties in purchasing The Magpies. It is unconfirmed at this stage whether Alan Hardy will auction off further nude photos to help raise cash.

  • Could this hand a reprieve to another League Two struggler? Part 2

On the pitch, Cov picked up a credible point away to Luton, who are now 21 games unbeaten.

Off the pitch, not all is rosy at Coventry. The Sky Blues’ tenancy at the Ricoh Arena expires this summer and those bad lads at the EFL board have requested Coventry provide more details by March 5th over their intentions for next season. Further, the EFL board have advised it will need to call an extraordinary general meeting of all 72 clubs to consider City’s expulsion from the league and any future membership should the situation not be resolved by the end of April. Apart from being absolutely appalling and a dreadful iteration of ‘modern football’, could this also spell out a reprieve for someone in League 2? Maybe we’ve picked a good season to be consistently shite.

  • U’s in the news: Come and join us…

Should we stay up (and we’re not so sure this week) then chances are we’ll be hosting Bradford next season. This weekend saw David Hopkin resign from Valley Parade with the club sitting second bottom. Below them are AFC Wimbledon who also lost this weekend to a stoppage time goal at home to Charlton. Goal machine Joe Piggot was unable to follow up his mid-week hat trick against Charlton. Joe Piggot. Hat trick. Let that sink in.

  • Elsewhere up the A10…

Boro’s impressive promotion form continued with a 2-1 home defeat by Shrewsbury. The win lifted the Shrews out of the relegation places. Posh striker Ivan Toney has also clearly been taking defending tips from our Jake Carroll after seeing red for a deliberate handball stopping a goal bound effort.

Peterborough have also sacked defender Josh Yorwerth after confirming he has been given a four-year ban for evading an anti-doping test and taking cocaine. The news has everyone questioning; is there a single law-abiding citizen involved with Peterborough United Football Club? Answers on a postcard.

  • Around the world
    • Sarri’s tactical genius is finally revealed.
    • Finally, David Brent is back in the Premier League. And Kolo Toure is joining him – Kolo and Brent, what a combination.

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