Under The Other Stands #5

Isn’t it nice? Having a weekend without the burden of worrying about a U’s scoreline? Not worrying about how many goals we’ve decided to ship this weekend somewhere in the country? Our inevitable pasting at Bury was postponed due to the rain, the north, and the combination of the two meaning the pitch resembled something closer to an olympic swimming pool than a football pitch. But no game for the U’s doesn’t mean no UTOS, so here’s our pick of the stories from League Two and beyond over the last week.

• Goal crazy in Crewe

Thankfully, The Railwaymen were goal shy when they visited The Abbey last week – even though, they should arguably have come away with a fairly comfortable win. They made amends for it in some style as they beasted Crawley 6-1 on Saturday. The win included an 11 minute spell where Crewe scored five times. Former United man, and candidate for worst Centre Back we’ve ever had, Tom Dallison, even got involved in the banter by scoring a 38-minute own goal.

• Trouble in Somerset

As predicted, Yeovil’s plight looks like it’s going from bad to worse. The Glovers lost a huge six pointer at home to Macclesfield on Saturday, meaning they’re just 3 points ahead of Macc, and Sol Campbell’s team have a game in-hand. Furthermore, the result once again poses the question; how bad are we to go to Yeovil and lose?

• Elsewhere at the bottom

Notts County missed the chance to keep up with the relegation pack, slipping back to the bottom of the table as they could only draw at home to Morecambe. Watching a nil-nil at home to Morecambe sounds like the stuff of nightmares… Port Vale leapfrogged the U’s after picking up a point at Swindon in another drab 0-0 from the weekend.

• ‘Come and join us’ League One madness

Some say 4 Premiership teams in the Champions League quarter finals confirms that the it is the best league in the world. We’re calling bullshit. League One has a staggering 13 teams involved in the relegation picture. There’s 3 points between top-half Plymouth Argyle and Walsall in the relegation zone, therefore making it, arguably, the most competitive league going.

• Goal or no goal at the Kassam

Wimbledon were replaced at the foot of the table by Bradford, who endured a crazy ending to their clash with fellow relegation battlers Oxford. With the game goalless going into injury time, Bradford have a 93^rd minute penalty appeal turned down. Oxford then break and score, sparking mad celebrations. As Bradford are about to restart the game, the ref consults his assistant and rules out the goal and instead awards Bradford a penalty for the earlier incident. Moments later, before the pen has been taken, the ref changes his mind again and re-awards the Oxford goal.

Lost? Watch the video here.

• Ex-U’s in the news

We have quite the pedigree for loan players coming to the club and barely ever being seen, then going on to be far better players than we seem to have taken them for. Remember Karlan Grant? Joined us on loan from Charlton in 2016? Grant made a mere three appearances for the U’s, most of which were out of position on the wing. He signed for Huddlesfield in January of this year, and this weekend scored a brace in their 4-3 defeat to West Ham. Check out Grant’s second, which was an absolute peach.

We seem to write this every week, but, CERTIFIED GOAL MACHINE Joe Pigott scored AGAIN this weekend. Fucking hell.

• Around the world
  • News from up the road as P*sh confirm they will be going trophy-less for three years. How long till it comes crashing down this time?
  • Yeah, Messi’s quite good, isn’t he. Like that’s a surprise. FGR however, being almost as good, is not just surprising but very annoying.