Jorginho to United? UTAS Investigates…

What’s with the sudden listing of multiple Cambridge shirts on eBay with Jorginho printed on the back? Was a secret deal for Chelsea’s Brazilian playmaker on the cards last season before falling through? Do we have some Portuguese fans called ‘Little Jorge’ who ordered their shirts in the wrong size? Is the answer something else entirely? The UTAS detective agency got their best man on the case…

There was certainly some talk of Jorginho wanting to leave Stamford Bridge, and reliable news sources the Mirror and Football Transfer Tavern seemed to hint at him wanting to join a top European club. Although it’s been a while since we played in Europe (the group stages of the 1992/93 Anglo-Italian Cup), we’re unbeaten in both our appearances in European competition (against noted continental powerhouses Sunderland & Birmingham City) so definitely must count as a ‘top’ European club. Liverpool, Man United, Barcelona have all suffered defeats in European competition, but two draws for the Mighty U’s give us a record that’s the envy of Europe.

Our first line of enquiry was with the club, but we were laughed away. We then looked for a phone number for Frank Lampard but couldn’t find him in the phone book so we waited outside those flats he owns on Hills Road in case he turned up but after a couple of hours we had to give up. Thwarted again.

Drawing a blank, we reached out to the sellers of these shirts, were they club employees trying to raise a few quid on eBay selling the shirt they printed up for the photo opportunity before the deal fell through? Was it the players agent, or was it Jorginho himself, trying to get rid of the memory of having a transfer to England’s greatest club fall through? Or was it simply a bargain designer clothing retailer who’d lucked upon an unwanted football shirt?

So there you go, that’s where the trail ends. We’ve hit a brick wall in our quest to find out if the Brazilian international was close to joining the U’s. We’ll just have to console ourselves with the fact that we’ve got Wes Hoolahan instead, who’s twice the player Jorginho will ever be.

In the meantime, if you fancy a reminder of what might have been, and have a spare twenty quid burning a hole in your pocket, get yourself to eBay and grab yourself a bargain.

The UTAS detective agency is available to investigate your U’s related mysteries. How did we convince Newport to pay for Ade Azeez? What do Jevani Brown’s latest cryptic tweets actually mean? Where did the Dion money go? And the Man United money for that matter? Get in touch via the usual channels. Results not guaranteed.

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