We’ve made our position on the EFL/Papa Johns Trophy perfectly clear over the years. It’s a shit competition, made shitter by the introduction of Prem & Championship U23 teams getting whipped every few weeks, and even shitter by the attempt by the EFL to drum up some interest in it by rigging the draw to create local derbies. The result of this is that as well as a load of players deemed not even good enough to stop Fulham getting thrashed every week, we also have to endure fat Barry and his crooked chums visiting the Abbey and disgracing our hallowed pitch.
“But!” I hear you say, “we still want to support the club financially and buying an iFollow pass is the best way to do that, no matter how shit the competition“. Well, what if we told you there was another way of giving United your hard-earned tenner, without having to watch P*sh? Thanks to your friends at UTAS, we’ve browsed the depths of the U’s Online Shop and found five better ways to spend a tenner than watching the EFL Trophy.
It’s getting cold out there, so what better way to keep your feet warm than a nice pair of United football socks? They come in Yellow & Black, or Blue, and reach almost up to your knees.
Car Air Fresheners & Dice
Love your car as much as Paul Mullin loves scoring goals? Want it to smell nice and fresh? Want some B*ro scumbag to kick your mirrors off if you ever find yourself parked in that shithole city? Then for only ten quid you can get some faux-leather effect novelty dice and three U’s-themed air fresheners. They’ll not only make your car look better, but will almost certainly make it faster too.
Alright our kid? Put a Happy Mondays tape in yer Walkman and bowl up Newmarket Road whilst wearing this natty hat to really confuse people. Is he from Cambridge or is he from Manchester they’ll wonder? The best joint CUFC/Manchester merch since those lads appeared outside the Abbey flogging half and half scarves for the FA Cup match a few years ago. Bit sad to see these are sold out tbh.
Toy CUFC Bus and Gift Bag
A model bus with Cambridge United printed down the side. A gift bag. What’s not to love?
Abbey Stadium Street Sign
Confuse your postman and put this up at the end of your street. Imagine getting United’s post? All those CV’s of journeyman strikers, and multi-million pound offers for Wes Hoolahan. Or just people from the messageboard writing in to say they can’t log in to iFollow again.
All this stuff (and a lot more) can be found on the CUFC Online shop, go on, treat yourself.
Alternatively, you can get issues two, three and four of UTAS and still have £2.50 spare from a tenner from the UTAS shop. The money won’t help the club as we’ll probably spend it on pints of Guinness.