Attention all players: The first game is about to begin. The rules are simple. Prevent the opposition team from scoring for ten minutes. Losing players will be eliminated.
Player 4 leads the tracksuited players into the game arena, laid out to resemble a football pitch. A ball enters the field of play. Immediately chaos, reigns. The ball is crossed in, onto the head of Ryan Bowman with only eight minutes gone.
Player 2 Eliminated. Player 18 Eliminated. Player 6 Eliminated. Player 24 Eliminated. Player 1 Eliminated.
Player 3 decides that attack is the best form of defence. Forming a team with the remaining players, they vow to beat the cruel game, if only they can stick together. Showing his commitment, player 3 fires in a warning shot – the U’s are back in business.
Attention all players: The second game is about to begin. The rules are as follows. Finish the game without getting sent off. Losing players will be eliminated.
Player 19 gains control of the ball, it’s a physical challenge, but he wins it fairly. The Front Man, aka the referee, decides otherwise.
Player 19 Eliminated.
Attention all players: The third game is about to begin. The rules are as follows. Maintain concentration and hold on for a valuable away point.
Player 4 Eliminated. Player 13 Eliminated.
Player 16 Eliminated. Player 14 Eliminated. Player 10 Eliminated.
Player 7 Eliminated. Player 26 Eliminated. Player 9 Eliminated.
Man of the Match: Player 3. Purely for the goal.
Soundtrack of the Match: Johann Strauss – The Blue Danube
We discuss the game in more depth on the latest UTAS Podcast. Listen below, or wherever you get your pods online.
Under The Abbey Stand 
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